Last Updated on April 14, 2023 by nasirhanif
Lawmakers design laws to protect “We the People,” usually from our own depraved human nature. Some states like Colorado, however, have such oddly specific regulations that we can only wonder what happened for the legislature to have drafted these laws in the first place. Here are 8 of the wackiest Colorado laws you can share with your friends on trivia night.
Why Outdoor Furniture Is Illegal in Boulder, CO
Oddly enough, the city of Boulder, CO, expressly prohibits the placement of upholstered outdoor furniture in Denver. Doing so will result in a fine totaling the removal and disposal costs and a $25 administration fee.
You can, however, have upholstered furniture outside if it is upholstered explicitly for outside use, although you might get some unimpressed looks for simply having a couch on your porch.
This bizarre law conjures up the amusing image of building inspectors marching up onto porches in Boulder and plonking down on the outdoor furniture—to ensure that the 2-seater is up to code, of course.
Missile on a Mission
This law is for residents of Alamosa, CO, who own a missile or two. Should you happen to have a ballistic missile just lying in your backyard, you are, under no circumstances, allowed to chuck it at someone else’s car, at least according to Section 11 – 50 of Alamosa’s Code of Ordinances. Seems like somebody should change the name to the Code of Ordinances.
Sure, this law might just be an oddly phrased way to say, “Don’t throw objects at cars,” but we can’t help but imagine a grumpy homeowner getting so fed up with neighbors driving on their lawn that they whipped out a whopping big missile from their shed and flung it at the drivers.
Them’s Fightin’ Words
Another odd law exclusive to Boulder, CO, permits you to “insult, taunt, or challenge” a police officer freely—that is until they ask you to stop. While it might not be the wisest idea to assault a police officer verbally, you’re well within your right to, according to Boulder City’s Fighting Words ordinance, up until the very moment that the officer asks you to cease and desist.
Continue, and you’ll suddenly find yourself on the wrong side of the law, although it’s fair to say that taunting law enforcement officers is tempting fate, to begin with.
Don’t Drink and Ride
Another Boulder law, but this one actually makes a little bit of sense. Legislature considers horses to be non-motorized vehicles in Boulder, meaning you can’t saddle up and drink. Take it from the man caught drinking and riding in 2013; you can indeed get pegged for a DUI on a horse.
It’s pretty clear to see why this law was written, but we have to wonder what drunken fool prompted Boulder’s authorities to change this from a “common sense” law to something in the Boulder Code of Ordinances. Riding bicycles and being intoxicated is also against the law. If you were injured in a bicycle accident a bicycle accident attorney can help.
If you’re planning on heading somewhere to build a medieval catapult to lob projectiles at your neighbors, we don’t recommend Aspen, CO, since they’ve got a law that’ll land you right behind bars for that little stunt.
That’s right; Aspen has a law specifically aimed at preventing people from catapulting projectiles at their neighbors (pun entirely intended). The law also expresses a no-tolerance policy for slingshots and blowguns. Most alarmingly, you’re not allowed to lob snowballs at your neighbors, which means that Aspen is a snowball-fight-free zone.
We don’t know who was going around catapulting projectiles and lobbying frozen snowballs at their neighbors to prompt the need for this oddly specific law, but we’re petitioning that they be called “The Grinch of Aspen.”
No Boulders in Boulder
Weird, but sensible — it’s illegal to roll boulders in Boulder, which might be why the Rolling Stones never toured in Colorado. Of course, this law makes sense; it’s not exactly safe for adventurers to be rolling around massive heavy stones, especially where they could roll down and hurt someone. Only city employees on city business can be bolder and roll a boulder in Boulder.
Believe it or not, it’s illegal for dealerships in Colorado to sell vehicles on Sundays; however, if you want to buy car tires or different accessories, that’s another story.
This law is likely a holdover from the Blue Laws, put in place hundreds of years before the split between church and state. According to theory, if businesses were closed on Sundays, employees and would-be customers would be able to have a day of worship and rest. Some states simply haven’t gotten around to revoking these laws or choose not to, so it continues to be illegal for dealerships to sell cars on Sundays in Colorado.
In Pueblo, CO, dandelions are very closely regulated. Since they’re considered a weed, property owners must keep them below 10 inches in height. Any higher, and you might find a city inspector on your doorstep squatting by your front yard with a tape measure.
A Couple of Laws We Really Wish Were Real
Entertainingly, some Colorado laws have gone down as urban legends, despite being entirely untrue. One such law, for example, is that you cannot allow your cat to run loose in Sterling unless it’s fitted with a tail light. Not sure whether the cats in Colorado are more docile than elsewhere in the states, but something tells us that particular attempt wouldn’t go over too well.
Another humorous tall tale is that lending your vacuum to a neighbor is illegal. After all, who knows what they could do with so much suction power!
Lastly, contrary to what some insistent internet forums might suggest, driving a black car on Sunday in Denver is perfectly legal.
The Bottom Line
Well, there’s a list of 8 laws in Colorado so oddly specific that we have to wonder what sort of mischief goes down on Colorado streets when everyone is asleep.
So, if you’re a horse-riding, cop-insulting, dandelion-growing, outdoor-couch decorating, Sunday-selling, boulder-rolling, catapult-building, missile-throwing hooligan, then Colorado might not be the best place to take up residence.